Dream2

Going down this endless highway,
To an unknown realm,
That beckons to me,
Oblivious...
To the danger that may lie ahead,
Desperate...to end this lie,
The urgency to end this lie,
I bleed these agonizing tears,
For the betrayal and isolation,
Slowly envisaging my existence...
The Darkness..so pure,
The loneliness..so enigmatic,
Guide me to this place
I know nothing of...
The stars my map
To salvation..
Or deceiving me into another disappointment....
Is the road to purge my soul...
Or merely a continuum of treachery ?
But i cant stop..
This hunger drives me to desperation,
I can't be blamed...
I'm only human,
I can't give up..
I'm already halfway through,
Or is this just the beginning.....

Untitled

No one here for me,
All I wanted was isolation and serenity,
Oh yes, the warmth...the comfort..
Loneliness, My sole companion,
No one to worry about..only myself,
Staring at the dust scattered universe,
The innocent thoughtlessness..the feelings so pure,
The smoke blown towards the sky,
Reluctant to leave,
Seducing the Life Source to buy more time in my Utopia,
Whilst my companion,
Protective about it urged them to move on,
And answering all my doubts,
Filling my Soul's hole,
There was the sky,
Lucid......
Serene......
Heaven....
Now you're gone,
Dont know where...
Not even why...
What will become of me...
My survival, dependent on thee..
Now, all I see when I look at the stars,
Which once gave me a smile so friendly and warm,
Now smirks...at me...all tired and marred..
Them soldiers...
The different hues....the tinges of a civil strife,
I keep telling myself you'll return,
Are you dead ?
Please answer to my pain...
All you said is that you're still there,
And your presence must be felt,
How can I ?
I cant see you or recognize you anymore?
But I will search you out,
No matter how much this loneliness without Loneliness continues,
This emptiness causes a suffocation,
Its so ironic,
The very thing i once longed for,
Is the very thing now abhor,
But I must find you,
And fill this void...
Of Loneliness....

Dream1

Over the horizon,
The chariot rips across the sky so crimson,
The Beauty riding the horses beckons to me,
"Come along to eternity",
Awe-struck by her fair skin and eyes so hazel,
My ears deceived me when i gave my reply,
Shockingly, I can guess it was a no,
Cause there was the beauty of my dreams,
Her hair...so long...
Hands...so soft...
Legs...Long and slender...
Eyes...that spoke to me....
That called out to me....
Eyes...that seduced me...
But most importantly,
What was the beauty of that Figure...
Was her power to read my mind,
The power...
To speak to me...Without saying a word...
The power...to love me without being asked...
There she was...
Storming back past the ripped sky,
Waiting for my readiness..not now....why ?
That time will surely come...
Oh Lady...
Please do understand...
Because the next time...
I'll take you away from where you are...

The Light...

The Blind Man walks down the lonely road,
Unaware...
Unsuspecting....
Within himself is the only trust he can seek,
No one to help him,
No one to light his way...
Trust in only his senses,
Trust in only himself,
As he battles the darkness in his sight,
A light within him he sees..
A light..that guides him down that road,
A light...telling him nobody's there....
Nobody's going to be there...
Oblivious to everything else around him..
It predicts his forthcoming danger...
Trying to blind danger's eyes....
Thus the light guides his steps,
One by one...
Inch by Inch...
It illuminates the path ahead of him...
Leaving behind the silence of Darkness.....

Life is Bland

16 years of my life went away just like that. When I was at the beginning of my adolescence I was full of ideas and plans and things to do before i passed out of school and gave my ISC examinations and the lot...I have a just a year left and i haven't done anything. Every one around me did something or the other ...got laid, went home smashed, smoked pot etc etc...lived life wildly. All I ever did was worry...about getting caught, being scolded, disappointing all the people who had "faith" in me.....now at the end of childhood I wonder have i really done anything.

I spent half my life being made fun of, teased and sometimes just plain hurt...and that remains one of the main reasons why i wanted to do those things..i wanted to fit in, say something when people talked...show them that i was just as good.....instead of just walking away.

It feels a bit like cancer..when know the exact day of your death and you have to do all those things, you have to complete your list..only in my case its not as drastic....i just know the exact day ill loose my childhood.

i scream wait
wait old man
but time goes on
his pace is fixed
if only i didn't slow down
because it is not possible
to catch up with time

Purging Of The Soul

Everything around me seems to be turning against me these days...my principles...my beliefs...the people i love the most....Life is just a fucked up prank...lead you on and then inflict things to shock you which can later lead on to piss you off and hurt you...
Fortunately for me, i have learned a way to tackle the last problem...its called disconnection....basically you cut yourself off from the person and severe all ties with him or her in order to prevent yourself from getting hurt ever again..
The most peculiar and intriguing idiosyncrasy of mine is the ability to sense as to when something bad is going to happen which is often described by my friends as my "mother's Intuition"...Whatever be the case...i can always sense when something bad is going to happen or when I'm drifting apart from someone who was once close to me at one point of time...I've learned the hard way that at the end of it all...Its you who matters the most...nobody else...just yourself..at the end of the day...its you who has to fend it out for himself or herself...not any other entity...
I'm just posting this to tell other people that theres no point in placing your trust in someone you even have the slightest doubt about...If even the smallest instance of insecurity arises...You know that persons not someone to confide all your dilemmas into...AND NEVER restore ties with someone who has already screwed you over or abused your trust in them before...at the end of the day...if they respect that trust it means that they respect you and consider you important...if not...well...you know where you stand in their lives....Why should you place your trust in someone who doesn't trust you...These are the people who will only remember you later on when they fall into a problem or when they need something from you....They'll probably call you up and engage in the formalities and then get their work done...It really bites when it comes from a close friend.....
I would like to say that I only trust and believe in people who trust and believe in me...If you dont...Im not going to waste my time over you anymore..At the end of the day...I know all of it will be in vain and a wasted effort......

Angel....

If...you were an angel would you hold me
And save me would you...Be more lovely than you are...
Would the gods all around you and the heavenly bodies,
Would they tell you what sets you apart....

Would the stars right right below you
And the six string you strum to
Would they..Amplify your cry....
Would all the souls around you
And the Big Chief you pray to...
Would you always be in their minds....

I...need you and I seek you....
I..dont know where you are,
Way high up above or below
However down You will go..
Ill...search you out...

Would your hair fall on your face
And your touch on anyones face...
Would it...bring them back to life...
Would your brown eyes see through...
My sadness and thoughts and would they...
Tranquilize my soul...

Would they see that I'm in pain..
This loneliness thats set in...
Would they...heal me from my state...
With one look would they save from this...
Sickness and draw me into...
Your wings that so warm....

I...need you and I seek you....
I..dont know where you are,
Way high up above or below
However down You will go..
Ill...search you out...